I remember sitting alone outside at the Scholarship Dinner in 8th grade. Everybody was enjoying themselves at the dance while I was by my lone self reflecting, being nostalgic and regretful. Although my visage showed a peaceful and serene expression, inside...I was truly dying. I wasn't crying, but when she found me and asked if I was, the tears just started coming out. They wouldn't stop pouring, and I broke down. I remember feeling so embarrassed and stupid for crying 'cause a bunch of people were crowding around me, asking what the matter was. I'm just scared I'll be back at that place.

Pandumb

So I'm not the ONLY one who feels imprisoned behind IH bars! That's sad. Not gonna lie, sometimes this atmosphere/environment can chain me down. Of course, the trees are nice. The Nature is enough for me to take a breather out of from time to time. Which explains why traveling from class to class is something I would/occasionally still do anticipate every day, even if it takes approximately 3 minutes to get from one destination to another. Even up until now, the caged bird emotions remain in subtle existence. The only thing I look forward to in PreCal nowadays is staring out the window to watch the world from up above. Luckily, I sit in the front corner so I catch a fair view. But every chance or even glimpse I get of the outside world, I yearn to be out THERE, not within the confines of in HERE. Well, at least I know I'm not alone on my sentiments. But isn't it a bad thing if you know other people feel boxed in in a place where education should be liberating?

Constant Comparison, I know...it's unhealthy.

I know a lot of people standardize intelligence (common sense, wisdom, etc.). But it's difficult for me to comprehend things in such swiftness. I'm as slow a a snail when it comes to looking at the big picture or even the specific details. I can't connect the dots as excellently as a lot of people and I sometimes even lose memory of the significance of the dots themselves. I feel my brain isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and the mere fact that I have been dropped as an acquaintance or "friend" for that reason tugs at my self-esteem and puts me down. It brings me to question my worth here on Earth.

FunnyFaceBeauty

FunnyFaceBeauty is giving away the items pictured in the photo above. Featured is a make up bag from Plaid Poni Designs, Urban Decay's 'Naked Palette' (featuring 12 neutral eyeshadows, 2 eyeliners, and a mini bottle of primer lotion), M.A.C. lipsticks and lip gloss, M.A.C. eyeshadow, M.A.C. brow pencil, M.A.C. nail polish, and Forever 21 nail files.

Contest ends October 10 and is open internationally!

Click the image above to be directed to the original post/giveaway source for more details. :)

Guilty Pleasure

I'd have to say a guilty pleasure of mine is chocolate. Having a sweet tooth in general is one of my biggest vices 'cause often times my taste buds just crave for that sugar! I need to be more on the look out to keep my health and fitness in shape or else I'm bound to get Diabetes sooner or later. I should know better 'cause I'm aware of my dad's condition. And who knows, I have the potential to inherit that extra glucose in my blood. But of course, out of all the sweets...chocolate is MY best friend. I just need to practice some disciplinary skills 'cause my sweet tooth is in need of some taming!

MakeUpNonsense Giveaway

MakeUpNonsense is hosting a giveaway to commemorate her achievement of 50 followers! Click the image above to enter. :)

Korean Pop

Kpop ain't the same no more. I've drifted apart from the music scene ever since I realized the focus was shifting from 'this' concept to another. Personally, I prefer the concept the Kpop Industry was aiming for in the past. Nowadays it seems to be about being provocative and sexually appealing. I miss the cutesy wootsy image. Then again, the whole idea of creating images to portray can come off as close minded. For now, I'm sticking to those throwbacks.

My submission for a contest.

Story of a Man – Joo Ji Hoon (The Devil)

I stand before Life today, questioning Fate’s play.
Death took my brother away, the Devil stabbed him in the light of day.
It was witnessed with 10 eyes.
But later, several eyes will be in disguise.
To plot revenge against these criminal men,
To feed them the taste of their own medicine.
I swallowed all these tears for years,
choked from all the toxic fears.
Of being so alone,
Now with my family gone.
My soul had become undone.
With nothing left but Darkness,
I gave into the dark mess.
Plotted my life with the worst intent,
Ambition was to become Hell-sent.
Justice needed to be served,
for my brother weeping below the Earth.
For the pain that drove me insane, to the point where I couldn’t contain.
Happiness I struggled to obtain.
I decided to ruin my enemy, my rival, my Arch Nemesis.
I wanted to dig into his insides, break him down so he knew what sorrow is.
I wanted to leave him with the hurt he had left me with
When he committed the crime of stealing my blithe.
But revenge is the sweetest thing,
Only until you find someone worth more than ‘just a fling’.
Because a girl I knew,
she kept me askew.
With her, my cold heart had become warm.
Only to her, I didn’t want to do any harm.
Regretfully, I had already tied myself up in a web,
Caught in a knot, I was already dead.
So I attempted to keep my composure from her Light exposure.
I befriended Evil only to have him kill me in the end.
I found out, it was me who I couldn’t comprehend.

Long Lost Soul

I love how I used to be able to take interest in an issue enough for me to have the right to spark up a good conversation about it. I used to be so in tune with my heart's intellect. Thoughts were coming from my mind, and I was thinking to my heart's desire as opposed to my brain's. But nowadays, my mind seems to block the flow of my soul to who it is I am at my inner core. I miss the times when mental stimulation would come as easy breezy for me and the topic at hand would always trigger perceptive insight. At least I had something to say, whereas nowadays I'm completely sick of the education. And I'm willfully ready to throw in the towel at any given moment. At least, those are the emotions that inspire the desired actions. I've even conjured up predictions of ending up as a college drop-out 'cause I know sticking to routine would wear me out as much as it's already wearing me down. Then again, I think that type of structure only consists of the first two years of college, and afterward it's freedom of choice from there. Is it? I don't know. All I know is that I prefer the old me over the present me.

I've been feeling kind of woozy lately. Light headed, dizzy, faint, I don't know what this feeling is. But I'm worried and if something unfortunate happens to my health, I'm blaming my doctor for ignoring my serious pleas.

Impatiently waiting for something to trigger my mind, 'cause I'll be honest that it's been a long time.

Tied Down

I wish education was instituted so that I lost track of time...and I wouldn't have to get so out of line with counting down the days 'til the weekend. The caged bird emotions get out of hand, and emotions of deprivation and suppression arise. It's all in my mindset, but I wish it wouldn't have to be so. Natural occurrences are so sweet sometimes.

At a crossroads, premature mid-life crisis.

Routine ain't for me, the 9 to 5 is something I'd let go of in an instant. I admit, I ain't that persistent. So I won't be able to handle the rigid structure of what it insists. Or else my soul would cease to exist. The idea of never ending confines intimidates me. I can't stay put 'cause I got to be set free. I need to let loose, pack up on that energy boost, and take charge to charge.

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Favecrafts is having a Tulip Fashion Graffiti Paint Taggers giveaway!

Direct Link:

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Welcome

W'sup BlogSpot?! Well, here's my first post for you. I've got nothing to say, so sorry if this post is mostly blank. Until I've got more interesting stories to tell, adieu for now.